About a year ago I was working and interacting fairly frequently with a lady who coordinated a project I was working on (let’s call her Cheryl). It was a really important project, not just because it was something I was delivering but also because it was a topic I was really passionate about and therefore cared about.
I found Cheryl to be rude, abrupt and inconsiderate. She’d send me one word replies to emails, never say please or thank you – and worst of all have little compassion or empathy to my challenges. And Cheryl would have virtually no response to any kindness or even worse my humour! I found interacting with Cheryl, particularly speaking with her an arduous task and I’d avoid doing so – this had a big impact on the development of my project. This affected the project results and the quality of my experience during the process.
This went on with Cheryl until I was aware of how different people’s styles manifest and how hugely this affected communication, leadership and most importantly results. Prior to this I’d taken Cheryl responses personally, I’d assumed she was behaving and communicating in this way either to irritate me or just because she was rude and inconsiderate.
You see Cheryl had a very direct style, nothing to do with me – this was her way of communicating, leading and responding. Once I realised this, and that my style is less direct and more considerate, I understood that the way we communicate is very different. I love a please, thank you, people making time to say hello etc…this wasn’t Cheryl’s thing at all. It made total sense! In some ways we were at opposite ends of the spectrum in this regard. I then allowed myself to let go of the expectation that she ought to be any different. This transformed my interaction with Cheryl, not that I still didn’t find her abrupt, but I knew it wasn’t about me and this allowed me to make the best of our interactions. In a way I felt relieved because I could dispense with some niceties with her and that was very refreshing!
It’s interesting isn’t it how something so simple can make such a huge difference?! I see this challenge regularly with clients. One person is in uproar about how the other is responding or not responding and this leads to conflicts, communication breakdowns and disconnection with teams.
Are you making assumptions about someone you are clashing with? Is your enthusiasm and energy not being encouraged? Is your need for detail not being met? Are others being extremely rude? Do you wish everyone else would just hurry up and get on with it?
Come and find out how to be aware about your style and others. Find out about your style’s leadership and communication needs and how you can use this information to maximise team working. Revolutionise your communication and leadership results!
What’s My Leadership Style? This fun and interactive session is running in Hertfordshire on Wednesday 10th February 9:30am-1pm (includes a style profile assessment).
Tickets here: Book Here: What’s My Leadership Style?