3 Ways to Expand Your Limits

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I had a physiotherapy appointment last week to review my progress and something very unexpected happened!  An epiphany!!

My physiotherapist and I were chatting about the level of pain I was having and how this was better or worse since I’d been doing my physio exercises.  I was explaining that I’d been doing yoga the night before and I’d started to get uncomfortable pain so I’d pulled back and hadn’t completed some of the yoga activities.  My physiotherapist said, ‘so you stop when you get pain?’ and we carried discussing how I normally handle that.

Then my physiotherapist started to explain that some pain was good, and that I woundn’t damage my body by having some pain.  He also explained that going slightly beyond pain that each time would enable my current physical limit to be expanded.

Well…a light bulb went off in my head!!  I thought YES I am limiting myself because when I feel discomfort/pain or what I judge as ‘too much’, I become fearful I will damage my body – so I stop.  Then I pondered a very important question…where else do I do this in my life?  Where else, when I reach my ‘comfortable’ level of discomfort, do I pull back?

This was an extremely exciting observation for me and since then I’ve been intrigued.  As I result I have been actively practising being with my ‘discomfort’.  How often in our work and personal lives do we pull back, disconnect or avoid if we are out of our comfort zone?  Will this ultimately limit personal and leadership development?

In the case of my physio, this is actually really important because to reach improved resilience and strength my body needs to go beyond its current limits.

So consider these 3 things to question and expand your limits:

  • Discomfort – what makes you uncomfortable and what would it take to move beyond this discomfort?
  • Truth – what are you fearful will happen if you move beyond your current comfort level, what’s worse case scenario?  Is this true, really?
  • Next Step – What is 1 thing you could do to practise stepping beyond your current limit?

Come and explore how to get beyond your current limits in a FREE online preview for The Power of Purpose course with me on Wednesday 27th April 6:30-8pm.  You will be encouraged to explore where your current limits are and how this is affecting your results.

Change your behaviour, change your results…Go on, take a risk!

FREE Online Preview…book here: Book FREE Power of Purpose Preview

3 ways to Radically Change Your Results

hope and expect

I’ve been reminded this week at various points how important it is to focus on what IS wanted and what IS working.  This is a challenge eh?  I know this has been challenging for me many, many times.

It can be very easy to get into a complaining cycle, talking and focusing on what isn’t happening, isn’t working or what we don’t like.  Some organisation’s culture are totally based around this behaviour.

Thing is, there’s is a big cost to this and that is your results – and of course the quality of the experience to get there.  That experience more likely will be filled with stress, poor work/life balance and sometimes sleepless nights.

When you spend a large amount of time focusing on the negative, what time are you actually investing in moving forward?  What time are you investing in creating what you do what?  Have you even thought about that?  I was reminded again this week that when we focus on what isn’t happening, there is a danger that there’s actually little clarity about what is wanted – particularly in light of course correcting or changes in context.

How can you create something if you don’t know what it is or how you are going to get there? Different methods work of course for different people, however I do see many clients end up creating the minimum or far less than they are truly capable of.   Just imagine what would be possible if there was more focus on possibility rather than impossibility.

Staying focused in possibility can take a great deal of resilience of course, there may be many setbacks and it sure can be a big challenge to keep the faith and stay on purpose – especially when the road looks very different to expectations.

So 3 ways to shift your focus and your thus your experience:

  • Expectation – what was your expectation? Did this turn into a demand?  Not just the result but your expectation of others and yourself.  Hope is not the same as expectation
  • Switch Focus – focus on what you do want, what is working and what you can put in place to move towards where you want to be. Get aligned with reality and focus on the next step you can make towards your goal
  • Responsibility – what can you take responsibility for in all of it? Are you clearly communicating what you do want?  Is this understood?

Come and explore how to stay focused on your passion, your vision and create the results you really want in a FREE 1:1 45minute discovery session with me.

I can’t wait to hear from you…

FREE 1:1 coaching discovery session…book here: Book FREE 1:1 Coaching Discovery Session

FOMO – Have to or Want to?

wayne dyer...you choose limits

Ding!  An email pops into your inbox – a request, an enquiry – it might be from your colleague, the boss or a potential customer.  Its 6:30pm, you’re just about to have dinner together with your loved ones.  Do you open that email?  Of course you do!  You can’t resist!

Then, dinner is ready so off you go downstairs.  What’s happened though?  Suddenly you’re feeling a little uptight, agitated even and your mind is racing.  The email?!  You’re thinking ‘I have to answer it quickly’, ‘I have to respond’, ‘I have to get this info to them’, ‘I have to…   And then you’re eating you dinner but you’re not really there.  Your loved ones are speaking to you, you can hear yourself making the appropriate noises but you’re not really listening – really you want to get back to respond to that email.  So there you are missing the precious moments of your life with your loved ones because of FOMO – and this happens frequently doesn’t it?

Fear of Missing Out – a very common phenomenon.  Thing is, this is it folks.  That time with your loved ones, you don’t get that back.

A few years ago, I used to almost panic when an email or request arrived in my inbox.  Straight away I’d be thinking…I have to answer it now, I have to give them the right answer or else… I’ll look incompetent, I won’t get the assignment, my boss will think I’m lazy, I won’t be working hard enough, fast enough, I’ll lose my job….the list goes on.

After I took The Power of Purpose in 2010, I realised that actually I don’t have to do anything!!!  I might want to, this however is not the same thing.  This is a very subtle but important difference.  One is a choice, the other is a demand.  The other thing I noticed was that it was me adding on the ‘now’ deadline, not the person who’d sent the email.  AND I could ask for a deadline or indeed offer one.

Oh my gosh I felt SO free!  The awareness I learnt quite frankly freed me from the tyranny and grip that my mind had on me.  It’s not that I don’t still react but now I am more aware of what’s happening and this enables me to make more conscious choices, more of the time – rather than be driven by my unconscious mental demands.  Those demands usually end up with me flitting between tasks and reducing my productivity completely.  Sure, I could miss out on something but what’s the worst that could happen?  Once I think about worst case scenario, the truth is I don’t actually know that this is what will happen anyway.  Likely?  I suspect not.

So when that email pops in, consider:

  1. Who put the deadline on you or them?
  2. What’s the worst case scenario if you don’t respond immediately (or indeed until X?)
  3. What’s the truth – do you HAVE to or do you WANT to?

Come and explore how to release the demands you have on yourself, in a warm and welcoming environment, in my FREE online taster session for The Power of Purpose course.

Join me for an FREE online taster session on Wednesday 3rd or 10th February 2016 6-8pm.

I’d love to see you there…

FREE tickets here: Book FREE Online Taster for Power of Purpose

Motivation by fear of conscious choice?

hope not fear

So I woke up this morning and noticed I had a lot of tension in my face, I was almost a bit breathless.  I go on a 4 mile walk everyday and as I was walking I noticed this tension more and more.  I felt agitated and I had this sense of being ‘in a hurry’ and wanting to ‘get through’ my walk.

Then it suddenly hit me…I am going out today at lunchtime and there is a number of things, including this post, that I want to get done before I go out.  It occurred to me that my want to get this and a number of other things completed had turned into a push, demand, drivenness.  I mindfully tuned into what thoughts were running in my head and these were some of the things I could hear…I have to work harder, I have to work quicker, I have to focus, I have to get everything done..or else I will have failed, I’ll miss targets, I’ll let myself down…ultimately I was accusing myself of being useless and ineffectual.

Does this sound familiar?

My whole mindset and thoughts about the day ahead were being driven by a fear of failing and what sort of person id be if I did not meet the demands I had on myself.

How often do we do this?  Threaten ourselves into action….threaten ourselves into driving, pushing ourselves and ending up stressed, anxious, running through and through that hamster wheel like the world is going to end.

There is a different way.  Taking the steps to:

  • Be mindful – stopping to tune into these thoughts that are running and checking out what the truth is about these demands and accusations we are holding against ourselves
  • Choice – focus on what we do want rather than what we don’t want. Taking the time to explore what we want and WHY we want it.  We can use this as a motivation rather than threatening ourselves

Have a go and let me know how it goes?

We explore this in more depth on my The Power of Purpose course in January 2016.  I will be teaching some of the course’s extremely powerful, life changing tools to go through these steps.  This process will get us free of those fearful chains and liberate us to get off that hamster wheel…

Come and join me for a FREE taster session in Hertfordshire on Friday 8th January 10am-12:30pm.

FREE tickets here: Book your FREE place!

 Set yourself free…    

The Power of My Purpose

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I started writing this post thinking I should write something interesting, eye-catching – compelling even.  Instead I am choosing to share with you the truth, what teaching The Power of Purpose really means to me and what I think is possible from my own experience.

I took The Power of Purpose myself in early 2011 and I went in thinking YES!  this is the course for me.  I am going to have this one licked.  I am really goal orientated, I am determined and I’m achieving – what can this course possibly offer me that I don’t know already?  I went in believing I knew how to be purposeful and I’d just have a few extra tools to use to my advantage.

What I learned is that being mindful about purpose isn’t about ticking a list (I do like a ‘to do’ list) or how much I’m getting through in a day.  Being on Purpose is about being clear about what I REALLY want, my heartfelt purpose for wanting it and what that really means to me.  This empowers me to make discerning choices to stay on track.  Even if that’s challenging or doesn’t look like I thought it would.  I can always course correct.

My purposes now are mindful, deeper, grounded and held by a strong vision of what difference I want to make in the world – and to myself.

When life throws those (sometimes massive) curve balls, I now have the tools to get off the hamster wheel, stop beating myself up and get back on track.  It’s an ongoing daily purpose in itself to be conscious of my purpose and not get distracted by a number of other things that I could be doing instead or things that come my way (ooh look a shiny object!).

You see I grew up believing there was a certain way to be and a particular path to follow to be successful, and I believed I had to survive by playing along.  Get a good stable job, get good grades, get a pension – be setup for life etc.  The truth is I never wanted that.  I wanted more.  What I wanted was to have the freedom to find my own path, to put my energy into work that I cared deeply about and that for me would make the difference.    And I wanted to empower others to do the same.

So here it is…teaching this course for me is about freedom, reminding myself and teaching others to use the tools that will liberate them from a life of demands.  This is the difference I am committed to making in the world.  I want more people to know that they can motivate themselves by consciously choosing rather than driving themselves through fear of what they will be or look like if they fail.  I want more people to live and go for the life that they are truly capable of and not be limited by their beliefs about themselves, others or life.  I want people to know they always, always have a choice.

For me this powerful course is about mindfully raising awareness of what gets in the way of my deepest purposes so I can consciously choose what to do with this information – rather than getting carried along.  When I am on purpose in this way I am ‘at cause’ rather than ‘effect’ of what comes my way.  I see different possibilities, I get much more creative AND discerning.  And very importantly I get to be mindful, improve the quality of my experiences and I’m much more present to enjoy the journey!!!  This is such a different perspective to what can happen when I end up ‘just trying to get through’ or driving myself to do more and more, quicker and quicker.  When I am in that frame of mind whatever I do isn’t enough.

We all have our own story and the truly amazing things is our story can be a powerful basis for our life purpose.  This is what I am learning now.  I am looking forward to hearing some of the stories, wants, challenges and visions for those who will be on the journey with me in the next Power of Purpose course.

Come along to a taster event running in Hertfordshire on Tuesday 10th November 4:30-6:30pm

FREE tickets here: FREE Power of Purpose taster – book!

The Power of Educational Purpose

I started writing this thinking I ought to write something ‘eye-catching’ so the audience I would like to enrol are engaged. Instead I decided to share the truth, my passion and what I think is possible from my own experience.

I have a 3 day course running on 25th June, 2nd & 9th July for Educational Leaders – The Power of Purpose. When I took the course myself in early 2011 I had no idea what I would learn. At the time I knew I could be extremely focused and determined, so what was I going to get that would make me more purposeful?

What I learned is that purpose isn’t about ticking a list (I do like a list!) or how much I could get through in a day. Being on Purpose now for me is about holding a clear vision, having a clear intention and making discerning choices to stay on track. Even when life throws those curve balls and I’m knocked off my perch. It’s an ongoing challenge to be conscious of my purpose and not get distracted by a number of other things that I could be doing instead or indeed a number of other things that come my way (ooh look a shiny object!).

For me this powerful course is about raising consciousness of what gets in the way, being connected with my purpose and what this really means to me – I mean REALLY. When I am on purpose in this way I see possibility, I am creative AND discerning and most of all I’m enjoying the journey!!! Rather than what can happen when I end up just trying ‘to get through it’ or doing ‘more, more, more, faster, faster’ to get to the result. When I am in that space whatever I do isn’t enough.

So here it is…my purpose is to teach this course to educational leaders because I want to shift the culture of education for young people. I want to create a tipping point for a more open, creative, collaborative approach to learning. I want educational leaders to create this through role-modelling their own approach to learning. The bottom line is…I want more young people to live and go for the life that they are truly capable of and not be limited by their beliefs about themselves, others or life. I want young people to know they always, always have a choice.

You see when I was at school I grew up believing I had to be a certain way or had to follow a certain path to be successful. Get a good stable job, get good grades, get a pension – be setup for life etc. The truth is I never wanted that. What I wanted was to find my own path, to really connect with what I wanted and what I was passionate about. And then live it! And I wanted to support others to do the same.

We all have our own story and I am looking forward to hearing some of the stories, wants, challenges and visions for those who will be on the journey with me in The Power of Purpose.

A head teacher said to me a while ago, a big benefit of this course is the opportunity to reconnect with WHY she chose teaching in the first place. What difference she wanted to make, what she wanted for the children in her school – this wasn’t about meeting an OFSTED framework, that’s a given – but about her intention and care in creating that difference. How amazing is that? I was in awe of what this type of reconnection and display of passion could do for the children in her school.

Inspiring…

https://thepowerofpurposejun2015.eventbrite.co.uk

The Energy of Possibility

Reflection of leadership

I had a client this week that came in frazzled and exasperated because another one of her staff had resigned.

Totally understandable, her continuing challenges are time and getting to a place where the workload eases up. She sees her main issue in this as not having enough time. We all have the same amount of time though, right?

What I noticed more than anything was the utter resignation she was in about finding a new member of staff – and one that will fit perfectly.

What energy does this create, being in a frame of mind that no matter what we do, we are not going to get what we want in the timeframe we want.  Sure, there’s a logistical reality – Christmas is nearly here and people may be on holiday etc.

However, I wondered whether in this mindset we can ever create what we are so desperately seeking?  Being resigned, defeated and assuming we will fail, doesn’t this create a certain energy?

Even if we have doubts, when we get to the point where we have possibilities in front of us – are they likely to say YES to such a resigned or fear driven nature?

If you believe the theories about the law of attraction, we draw to ourselves the same energy we put out.

If nothing else, we could definitely have a good hard look at the truth of our assumptions…

Leadership boundaries…

Leaders Owning Creation

I’ve had some fascinating conversations this week about boundaries that have really resonated with me.

I’ve had sessions with numerous leaders, some who are believing that because they are not good enough – they therefore need to prove their capability and thus find saying no (or indeed putting work/life boundaries in place) a massive challenge.

Of course this plays out with them working 24/7, always questioning what they are doing and believing they are responsible for solving whatever is incomplete.

Thing is, where’s the room for others to step in? If there’s no limit to the responsibility we keep taking and taking for the whole challenge, where’s the room or indeed boundary in that for others?

Boundaries are fundamental to create a frame for collaboration, mutual respect and most importantly encourage creativity and commitment…