I’ve been reminded in the last few weeks how much I really don’t know. I’ve been reminded how important it is not to make assumptions or indeed let my ‘negative voice’ dictate my behaviour. I truly do not know what someone is going to say or how they are going to react. I mean it makes sense, how could I? I who I am and they are who they are – I cannot read other’s minds.
I have had many conversations over the past 6-8 weeks about courses I’m teaching and about coaching. Many conversations, not about what I’m offering per se but about individuals lives, roles and what they are wanting to change or develop in their leadership. I’m grateful as I sit typing this that these are the conversations I get to have most of the time – transforming, empowering conversations that sometimes in themselves have many insights for me and others.
I realised after three conversations this week (where I was extremely doubtful of getting the outcome I wanted) how massively important it is not to listen to my ‘negative voice’. I was fearful enough that I seriously considered not even asking the question that I really wanted to ask. This was because of course my negative voice’s commentary had already started: ‘They won’t be interested’, ‘They will say no or not now, ‘They will say I can’t afford it or I can’t do the dates’…and I will be left disappointed, de-motivated and resigned to the fact I have to do more to engage more people.
Well what I actually did was I decided that I can connect, listen, ask the questions I want to ask and see what happens. And then my friends I was shocked! All 3 people just said yes! And now I am thrilled – for them, for me and for the difference this will make to leadership in the world.
So my question to you is…where do you hold back, avoid asking the question you really want to ask?
Have a go at these 3 Courageous Steps:
- Listen In – to your negative voice…what assumptions are you making about what may or may not happen? About how someone may respond?
- Check-In – with those assumptions…how do you really know what that person will say or what the future holds? When in the past has someone said something you didn’t expect?
- Be Curious – and courageous, take a deep breath and ask that question! You never know…none of us do…trust, be open…see what happens. And if you get a response you don’t want… is it likely you will handle it?
Learn how to increase your willingness to be courageous, get past your ‘negative voice’ and put yourself forward. Step In, Step Up in your Leadership. And learn the tools to keep this going for yourself, for the rest of your life.
Come and join me in a warm and empowering environment, in my online taster session for The Power of Self Esteem course.
Taster sessions are on Wednesday’s 28th September or 5th or 12th October 6-7:30pm.
I’d love to see you there…
FREE tickets here: Book FREE Online Taster for Power of Self Esteem
Nicci Statham is an executive coach who specialises in changing behaviour, she is passionate about empowering clients to transform their results through changing their attitude and behaviour. Follow her on Twitter @awareleadership.
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