3 Courageous Steps to Reducing Your Negative Voice

I’ve been reminded in the last few weeks how much I really don’t know.  I’ve been reminded how important it is not to make assumptions or indeed let my ‘negative voice’ dictate my behaviour.  I truly do not know what someone is going to say or how they are going to react.  I mean it makes sense, how could I?  I who I am and they are who they are – I cannot read other’s minds.

I have had many conversations over the past 6-8 weeks about courses I’m teaching and about coaching.  Many conversations, not about what I’m offering per se but about individuals lives, roles and what they are wanting to change or develop in their leadership.  I’m grateful as I sit typing this that these are the conversations I get to have most of the time – transforming, empowering conversations that sometimes in themselves have many insights for me and others.

I realised after three conversations this week (where I was extremely doubtful of getting the outcome I wanted) how massively important it is not to listen to my ‘negative voice’.  I was fearful enough that I seriously considered not even asking the question that I really wanted to ask.  This was because of course my negative voice’s commentary had already started:  ‘They won’t be interested’, ‘They will say no or not now, ‘They will say I can’t afford it or I can’t do the dates’…and I will be left disappointed, de-motivated and resigned to the fact I have to do more to engage more people.

Well what I actually did was I decided that I can connect, listen, ask the questions I want to ask and see what happens.  And then my friends I was shocked!  All 3 people just said yes!  And now I am thrilled – for them, for me and for the difference this will make to leadership in the world.

So my question to you is…where do you hold back, avoid asking the question you really want to ask?

Have a go at these 3 Courageous Steps:

  • Listen In – to your negative voice…what assumptions are you making about what may or may not happen? About how someone may respond?
  • Check-In – with those assumptions…how do you really know what that person will say or what the future holds? When in the past has someone said something you didn’t expect?
  • Be Curious – and courageous, take a deep breath and ask that question! You never know…none of us do…trust, be open…see what happens.  And if you get a response you don’t want… is it likely you will handle it?

Learn how to increase your willingness to be courageous, get past your ‘negative voice’ and put yourself forward.  Step In, Step Up in your Leadership.  And learn the tools to keep this going for yourself, for the rest of your life.

Come and join me in a warm and empowering environment, in my online taster session for The Power of Self Esteem course.

Taster sessions are on Wednesday’s 28th September or 5th or 12th October 6-7:30pm.

I’d love to see you there…

FREE tickets here: Book FREE Online Taster for Power of Self Esteem

Nicci Statham is an executive coach who specialises in changing behaviour, she is passionate about empowering clients to transform their results through changing their attitude and behaviour.  Follow her on Twitter @awareleadership.

 

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3 Ways to Abundance not Scarcity

It’s a fine line isn’t it?  Having faith I mean that there will be abundance…rather than crossing over into the fear of scarcity.   Or indeed FOMO, the ‘fear of missing out’ another common phenomenon.

I have many conversations with clients about this pretty big mindset dilemma.  This can manifest in many ways too.  Scarcity can be a general perception of the future which is not enough’ness in some way…insufficient…in short supply…or that fear of missing out on something…there’ll never be another opportunity.  Or at least that’s what our inner voice (or negative voice) likes to threaten us with.

The general perception is one thing and then added on top is the castrophizing our minds like to do.  This has shown up with many clients in comments such as:

  • My staff will never improve or change, what’s the point
  • It won’t get done unless I make it happen
  • I have to get this done or else I’ll look bad, lose my job, look incompetent
  • If we share our talent, knowledge, experience with other organisations…I’ll lose my edge and customers

I wonder in a way if this is part of the human condition…half empty or half full.  I know in my own business and leadership I’ve fluctuated between both, depending on what life is throwing my way and my level of emotional resilience at the time.

What I’ve realised is that when I allow my inner voice to run riot this is the cause of the stress, anxiety, glass half emptiness – not the situation I am dealing with.

Scarcity can be a very stressful, uncreative, limiting and demanding place to be.  This is a completely different energy and focus compared to abundance – or my preference Trust.  What would that look like?  Trusting in you, trusting in life, trusting that whatever you do or don’t do – all will work itself out and all will be well.  Whatever happens you can adjust and will be able to handle it.

So my friends, 3 Ways to combat a scarcity mindset:

  • Check-in with Reality – ask yourself do you know what the future holds?  How many times have you expected one thing and something else has happened?  None of us know the future.  Consider the worst case scenario and how you would handle it if this were it to happen…
  • Focus on Possibility – focus on what you do want, what is working and what you can put in place to move towards where you want to be.  Get aligned with reality and focusing on the next step, even a small one, will move you forward into possibility
  • Trust – let go, release your grasp, loosen your grip on the demand that things be different to how they actually are.  Creating this space allows other creative possibilities to emerge which you are much more likely to see and say YES to.  Remember nothing is for life, we are only ever in the ‘right here, right now’ so in the next ‘right here, right now’ you can always course correct

Trust, be open…see what comes your way…see what happens…see what is evoked in you

Learn how to release your state from fear to creative possibility and learn the tools to keep this going for yourself, for the rest of your life.  Come and join me in a warm and welcoming environment, in my online taster session for The Power of Purpose course.

Taster sessions are on Wednesday 24th August or 14 September 6-7:30pm.

I’d love to see you there…

FREE tickets here: Book FREE Online Taster for Power of Purpose
Bye for now…

Nicci

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