3 Ways to a Bigger Purpose

dont play small

I’ve been working on a project for the last few months and a lot has happened in that time – especially the last few weeks.  I have been learning a massive amount for myself in my own leadership and what it takes to create energy, motivation and ultimately results.

I had somewhat of an epiphany yesterday about my own purpose with this project.  This was HUGE to for me!!  I’d been noticing that there was a ‘stuckness’ of some kind in me, there was something about this project that I was missing, that I didn’t feel connected to.  I realised after some coaching that I didn’t have a bigger purpose for myself – and this may be affecting my and my team’s engagement.  How could create more engagement in my team if they didn’t know what they were getting on board with?

So I started to ask myself questions…what was I really going for in leading this project?  Yes I had clarity about the ‘result’ but what was the bigger purpose for me in WHY I chosen to lead it.  This mattered because I was playing small – I’d been ‘going along’ with what others wanted, I’d been filling in gaps rather than stepping up to lead as ME with my vision and leading from the front.  And so my team were doing the same, ticking boxes rather than stepping up and going for what they wanted for themselves – and going for the bigger benefits that the project would deliver.

This made me realise too that I do have a clear bigger purpose with my business, the work I choose to do and how I choose to be when doing it.

So I thought I’d share with you my bigger purpose ‘hot off the press!’ as it were…for myself I am learning and developing my visibility, boldness and my authenticity – to enable me to live the life I want to live and be ALIVE and free while I am living it!!

For the business leaders and owners that I work with: I want them to be empowered, more authentic, open, honest, collaborative and more ‘we are in this together’ with their stakeholders, peers, teams.

And I want this for leaders because I want to see leadership in our world which is less separating…more open, transparent, creative, empowered, authentic.  Because this creates, high performing organisations where individuals and teams are empowered to learn, grow and bring the best of themselves to their organisations.  AND all this matters and contributes to how we experience our lives, how we grow our economy, how we connect in our world every day.

So, step back and take time to consider and reflect on your bigger purpose:

  • What’s Your Purpose – for you in your leadership, your team(s) and your organisation?
  • Communicate – how can you communicate your vision and purpose so others can be alongside you and get on board?
  • Living It – how can you live your purpose? How can you BE and what can you put in place to be living and working towards the projects that are going to create your purpose?   What are you going to commit to?

Don’t play small…open up your platform to play a bigger game…

Come and explore how to define, communicate and live your purpose in your organisation in a FREE 1:1 45 minute discovery session with me.  What are you waiting for?

I can’t wait to hear from you…

FREE 1:1 coaching discovery session…book here: Book FREE 1:1 Coaching Discovery Session

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Authentic or Auto-Pilot?

imperfect

I’ve had some fascinating conversations this week about what gets in the way of creating results and being more authentic more of the time…what does it take to drop the persona and be real?

If we truly want to create results in our lives and connection with others in our work and personal lives, how can our personas deliver that?  Time and time again there it is…our trusty persona gets in there first when we are really crying out to be real…to be liked for who we are…be at peace…be connected…be enjoying the journey.  We can easily get into portraying ourselves as a human being that looks us, talks like us but does absolutely no justice to who we really are.

This reminds me of reflecting some months ago when I was watching the news on TV, hearing discussions about various different people and what they had ‘done’.  Along came all the judgements and evaluations as if there is this perfect human being that everyone should aspire to become.  Who knows what that is I thought?  Who is this person that ticks all the boxes?  Is there an epitome to be reached where we there is no suffering and we are happy, responding perfectly, never making a mistake 100% of the time.  Is that even realistic?

This is how our persona behaves.  Being presented on auto-pilot as if we have to behave a certain way to not be ‘found out’ or not show that we are human.  And there are many personas to choose from…’I’ve got it all sorted’…’poor me, look what’s happened, life’s unfair!’…’I have to put myself aside and help others’…and many more…

What if this is it?  This is how it is.  There is never going to be a perfect way to be.  How about embracing all the challenges as they are and you as you are.  How about acknowledging that you are doing your best with what you have – at any given moment.

What would it be like to live a life like that?

‘Life is not a problem to be solved, it’s a mystery and a journey to be lived’

Come and explore how to be more You more of the time in a FREE 1:1 45minute discovery session with me.  You will be encouraged to show the real you and we will explore the number 1 thing that keeps your persona going.

I can’t wait to hear from you…

FREE 1:1 coaching discovery session…book here: Book FREE 1:1 Coaching Discovery Session

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What’s Your Persona?

all the world is a stage

I was reminded this week in various client sessions how easy it is to get into acting with a ‘persona’ – in or out of the workplace.  There it is…our trusty blanket comes out when there is uncertainty in some shape or form.  Some of mine used to be ‘I’ve got it all sorted’ or ‘look confident’ or ‘be smart’.    One of my biggest was being nice, pleasing and accommodating.  Now I do very much want to accommodate if I can, however something used to get lost in my ‘nice, pleasing and accommodating’ and that was ME.

There are of course many different personas, some may be placating or ‘nice’…others may be more aggressive and out there so to speak.  Be strong, confident, be loud, be first, sound like I know what I’m talking about, be tough, be in control, be nice, make them laugh, be the hero…the list is endless.

Thing is, the persona is essentially faking it – presenting a person that looks like you, sounds like you but is not actually the real you.   What’s going to happen if you are the real you?  What would the consequence be?

As Marianne Williamson said, ‘our fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us’

The persona and maintenance of it can lead to the constant picking holes in ourselves and living a fearful existence.  Sometimes even paranoia, the slightest comment from someone sends us into a spiral of self-doubt and fear about what others think of us.

Trouble is, all this ‘persona’ or fakeness usually entails a severe lack of openness and honesty – and this my friends does really not bode well at all if we want to create and maintain connecting and sustainable relationships.  And the persona will certainly not be a sustainable foundation if you are looking to become a high performing leader or organisation.

It sure can be tough, going into work day after day and ‘performing’.  What about all those other people who seemed to have it licked?  They look so at ease!

I have many clients that have said, ‘if I show any weakness everyone will think I’m not good enough at my job. I have to be strong for my staff’.  Well that’s very admirable to care deeply about one’s staff and the effect on the bigger picture, however when we present a persona we encourage others to do the same.   This, I suggest, in the long run does not support you, the organisation or your staff.   More often than not our personas are based on a range of assumptions that may or may not be true.  When we hide our humanity, we hide reality.

I challenge you to stop and consider the following about your persona(s):

  • What persona am I presenting? – most of us know when we are not being real at any given moment
  • What would happen if you are the real you? – there will likely be a list of consequences that your mind has ready for you
  • Is your list of consequences true? – really? How do you know the future?
  • What payoff are you getting from keeping your persona? – are you hiding out from stepping up or sticking your head above the parapet?

Go on, have a go at being real – at least once a day.  See what happens.

Come and explore how to identify and be the REAL you, more of the time in a FREE 1:1 45 minute coaching discovery session with me.

I can’t wait to hear from you…

FREE 1:1 coaching discovery session…book here: Book FREE 1:1 Coaching Discovery Session

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Will the real leader please stand up…

show the world the real you

Are you presenting yourself as YOU or acting out an unconscious script?

I’m wondering today how we can, from potientially a very young age, begin to adopt a ‘persona’.  A way of being and behaving that at the time may have served us very well.

We got out of trouble, survived a traumatic experience or indeed created a way out of something we didn’t like or something we were required to cope with at the time.

There are a few I can think of right now…rebel…victim…martyr…hero…fighter…peacemaker

All the world’s a stage right?

One of mine can be to portray that I have ‘everything sorted’ and it’s true a lot of time I do, however not ALL the time.  Sometimes I’m really not ok, I don’t know what to do, I’m vulnerable, scared, tender even.  For me portraying this persona when it’s not real has meant the cost of deep connection with others, the beauty of collaboration/support and creating BIG results that I want in my life.

When we get into  ‘faking it’, hiding the real deal…for fear of being found out in some way or indeed ever being vulnerable – what’s the cost?

Have a think about what your persona might be.  What is it that you are afraid of others seeing about you?

This week I challenge you to take the mask off, just for day…show and be exactly who you are and how you are.

See what happens…

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Self Forgiveness in Leadership

forgive yourself

I’ve been involved in some workshops this week for executive coaching and one of the things that came up was – what reflective skills are important in coaching and leadership?

Self forgiveness was one of the things that came to me. We may have this great plan in leadership to change our behaviour, start a new way forward and get it right this time. And then there is humanity – mine and yours.

We are all indeed human, and therefore are highly likely to be fallible.

So when you do that very thing that you said you wouldn’t do or in a moment of reaction you forget – can you forgive yourself? I find to stay in any kind of self-condemnation may bring with it a huge sense of impossibility.

With self-forgiveness there’s room to let go, move on and get back to leading with a sense of possibility and determination…

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Self Forgiveness in Leadership

forgive yourself

I’ve been involved in some workshops this week for executive coaching and one of the things that came up was – what reflective skills are important in coaching and leadership?

Self forgiveness was one of the things that came to me. We may have this great plan in leadership to change our behaviour, start a new way forward and get it right this time. And then there is humanity – mine and yours.

We are all indeed human, and therefore are highly likely to be fallible.

So when you do that very thing that you said you wouldn’t do or in a moment of reaction you forget – can you forgive yourself? I find to stay in any kind of self-condemnation may bring with it a huge sense of impossibility.

With self-forgiveness there’s room to let go, move on and get back to leading with a sense of possibility and determination…

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Educational Leadership – being real

Authentic Self...No Competition

I’ve had some really purposeful and enlightening conversations this week with various educational leaders about BEing ‘Real’.

I see so often head teachers and principals who completely believe that as a leader they mustn’t be vulnerable in any way – and for some this belief means demanding that they show confidence and are never seen to not know the answer. Or else of course they hold themselves as not good enough, and are run by the fear of being seen as incompetent or failing in some way.

So what about being real? Rather than ‘acting’ confident when you are not, bringing more of YOU forward and leading from a heartfelt purpose, not a fear of not being enough or getting a result in some way.

Don’t we want to teach young people to be themselves and not hold back their true potential?

No-one else can ever be YOU. No-one can have the same thoughts, create the same school culture or bring to the table your unique style of leadership.

Be bold, be brave, be real!

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