Partnership – Honesty, can it really be the best policy?

lion integrity

Mmmmm….interesting week!  I’ve been thinking a lot about my experiences in the last few weeks with others not always keeping their word.  I found myself moaning and ranting last night after a series of events and heard myself saying – actually do I really want to carry on in these partnerships? 

That is an option of course, to bail out, but like most things there is a cost to me of doing so.

I realised that for me the big disappointment here is honesty.  Others not always keeping their word is one thing, but the lack of honesty to say so and/or re-negotiate a new agreement is the piece I find extremely disappointing.

Then (thankfully) I remembered a promise I’d made to myself a while back:  What about me?  Where’s my part in this?  What am I doing? 

I made this promise to myself some time ago after being in a similar scenario – moaning about others and not doing anything about it myself.  I promised myself I’d be conscious enough to notice and then check out what’s going on with me.  The questions for me were: How am I taking responsibility for my part, rather than just moaning about what isn’t happening?  How can I encourage the behaviour I’d like to see?

So then I realised of course I wasn’t keeping my word to myself.  As much as I might be disappointed and sad about certain events, I could choose to be honest and give feedback to those involved.  I could choose to let partners know what had happened for me, both at the time and how I felt now.  The people involved may have no idea what’s going on for me.  Could I be making BIG assumptions about what they know or don’t know?  If I’ve made those assumptions, where then is the opportunity to learn, grow or even build a new (improved) agreement.   

Within this whole scenario, had I been honest about what I wanted or any expectations that I had?

How often do we do this as leaders with partners, teams or clients even?  Make assumptions and then get frustrated, disappointed, angry or resentful when things don’t go our way.

I pretty much know it is going to take a huge amount of courage for me to have these honest conversations with people.  And I want to do so without expectation or judgement.  That will take some preparation and self mastery for sure!

As leaders we are always modelling behaviour – what we are BEing as well as what we are DOing.

What behaviour will you be modelling?

See more about my leadership programme here… http://www.get-connected.org.uk/leadership_coaching_programme.php

No blog from me next week folks, so a very Merry Christmas  to you!!

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