I have been reading lots of articles this week about how only 8% of people keep their new year’s resolutions and, refreshingly, a few about letting go of goals that are not serving us. Great! There’s nothing like checking-in to see that goals are still relevant and what we really want.
Being a bit of a purpose connoisseur so to speak (or so I like to think!), there is always something I am noticing and learning about my purpose(s). Especially how this does or does not keep me on track with my goals.
Having a goal is wonderful however, purpose isn’t just about the final outcome for me. Purpose is about noticing, getting aligned with reality, course correcting and then choosing again. And again, and again, and again. And this can be all within the same goal. How often do we get into the all or nothingness of a goal? And how much I wonder does this actually hinder progress, the quality of our experience and the final outcome?
For example, I had a massive project that I kicked off last year. I mean it’s big – life changingly for myself and others. So it took a lot for me to step-up, be visible and declare that this is what I am going for. So I have a clear intention and an emotional attachment if you like to see this project come to fruition. In hindsight, I realise I went into this with somewhat of an idealist attitude.
In my fantasy this was how it was all going to pan out…everyone is going to be immediately enthusiastic, encouraging and supportive. They are all going to agree straight away, no one will be negative, no one will say no, put any blocks in my way, ask me to change my vision etc. I will hold my first meeting and everyone will be on board, turn up on time, respond to emails when I want them to…and from there it will evolve into this amazing world changing event…la la la…la la la.
Of course what I got was VERY different and quite frankly I found this tough to get past. A few years ago this would have been a great excuse for me to give up and do something else instead. I am clear now that I am not going to give up, but to keep my motivation and be willing to keep going is something else.
There is a much bigger picture here too, whatever we are doing with any goal big or small, we will be doing in other goals and areas of our lives. This is true for me and all of us.
So whether you are changing jobs, creating something new, stepping up, improving fitness or losing a few pounds – how you respond and how you handle setbacks will impact the experience and the outcome. This is it folks, this is your life. You choose, always.
So you can course correct and go back in or go into one of my top 5 impossibility responses as a result of your ‘failure’:
- Beat yourself up – drive yourself to do more harder, faster to make up for your ‘failure’
- Indulgence – you have failed, any progress is futile, so why not consol yourself with a glass of wine or snack?
- Resent – complain about how its everybody else fault that this has happened, they need to change or be different so you can be successful
- Resignation – it’s impossible, it was never going to happen anyway, so you might as well give up right now
- Denial/minimising – you never meant to go for that anyway, it was obviously unrealistic, better scale back so you don’t look like such a failure
OR how about this top 5 instead:
- Reality check – Stop and review, check-in with yourself. What’s happened, what are the actual barriers?
- Truth – What is the truth? Have you failed? How do you know you weren’t meant to get to your outcome this way?
- Possibility – what can you learn from this? Are you willing to forgive yourself? Even with any barriers you may be experiencing, what is possible if you were to forgive yourself and get back on board?
- Way forward – what are the options to adjust, change course in light of what’s happened? Are your setbacks going to require something different and if so, are you willing?
So what will you choose – in or out? Go back to same habits of dropping or reducing your goal because you now believe it’s impossible OR get back on board with yourself.
Come and explore your goal challenges, in a warm and welcoming environment, get focused and empowered into possibility. Join me for an FREE online taster session for The Power of Purpose course – on Saturday 16th January 10:30am-12:30pm.
I hope to see you there!
FREE tickets here: Book FREE Online Taster for Power of Purpose
Nicci Statham is an executive coach who specialises in changing behaviour, she is passionate about empowering clients to transform their results through changing their attitude and behaviour. Follow her on Twitter @awareleadership.
You, no one else, creates what you have in your life.